im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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