laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
