why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
