Don't you send me to vm
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
this just has baby written all over it
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
