did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
