Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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