Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
