if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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