I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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