He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
