I feel like I'm in dance class right now
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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