If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
