I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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