Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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