I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
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so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
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And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol