Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
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You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?