Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
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finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.