You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?