I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating