So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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