I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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