I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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