Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
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There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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