Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
