I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
