Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
