He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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