I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
