oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
they call him Oral-B. enough said
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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