I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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