At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
