i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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