My balls are so social today.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
