Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize