You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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