Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
