I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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