Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
