Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Someone came in the potted fern
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
