honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
