dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Too much gin, very little bucket
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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