Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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