i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
