if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
