am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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