I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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