the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
