i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
