if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
