If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
