Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
