Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
