To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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