I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
