Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
