a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
