Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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