I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
