I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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