Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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