You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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