You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
