idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
