Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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