I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Text me some of your sweat
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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