6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
