Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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